Vignette: Vestas Goes Shopping

Vestas is a discerning shopper

Vestas looks into his bag and sees the same five vials of Bloodstinger poison that have been rolling around in there for months now.

No one seems interested in using these things. Maybe I can exchange them for something more interesting.

Luckily Etzal, the alchemical wares trader, is in town and doing business nearby.

“Etzal! I need your assistance. These poison vials are just not getting used. What else do you have available?”

Etzal scans his stock and pulls out a glass sphere filled with swirling green gas.

“What about this? The gas inside will make everyone in the area break out into convulsive laughter. Good for distracting your enemies.”

Vestas considers the recreational uses of such product for several moments.

“Maybe later. What else?”

Etzal pulls out a small flask containing a thick, gray paste.

“Sovereign Glue. This will stick two things together real good. All kinds of uses for that.”

Vestas briefly imagines Balthazar the stupid paladin with his hands glued to his face.

“Intriguing, but I’m thinking something a little more combat-oriented. For example, I often find myself in battle thinking, ‘You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.’† What do you have for that?”

Etzal’s eyes light up, “Ah! I see.” He reaches over and pulls out a heavy wooden box. He unfastens the latch, and carefully opens the lid. Inside are a dozen vials, one of which he tenderly lifts from the box and hands to Vestas.

Vestas raises it, letting the sun shine through to better examine the contents. It churns with deep reds and yellows, and is warm to the touch. It looks like nothing less than liquid flame.

“Alchemist’s Fire. Pure bottled inferno. Brewed with the finest essence of— HEY WHA—”

Vestas hurls the vial to the ground nearby. A fireball engulfs him, and knocks Etzal off his feet.

Etzal recovers slightly and looks over to see Vestas, still standing, on fire. He looks pensive, like he’s considering the quality of the burning he’s experiencing. After a few moments, the flames die down.

“Excellent! I’ll take four.”

RIP George Carlin



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